LIFE AFTER COVID-19: Five Things That Could Change

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Right now, it doesn’t look like the novel coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic is clearing up anytime soon, and Ghanaians are getting increasingly worried about how much more havoc COVID-19 could wreak on Ghana before life returns to normal.

Well, here’s the truth, served bittersweet: COVID-19 would leave, eventually, but life — especially as Ghanaians have always known it – might not be the same, at least in these five ways.

1. GREETINGS, MY PEOPLE!

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Handshakes and hugs are two of the most common forms of greeting in Ghana, yet both have now been discouraged — proscribed, even — by the dreaded virus. Elbow- and leg-shakes are a thing now, and we might be stuck with those for a while even after the worst is over. Bum-shakes would work, too, but . . . well, boys would be boys, eh?

2. TROTRO REFORMS

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Trotros are notorious for their ability to pack in as many passengers as possible — creaking even as they do — and for their very rude ‘mates’, a nuisance especially during rush hour. If these social distancing measures last long enough, however, we might embrace the new normal: adequate spacing in trotros, just so passengers with ‘big bones’ – er, like yours truly — don’t have to pay for an extra seat to feel comfortable. You get me?

3. WHAT’S IN A NAME?

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This period has refreshed our vocabulary and collective sense of humor – that’s a good thing, right? — and one of the Internet’s running jokes has been about how these new words and phrases could eventually reflect on how people name their kids in the not-too-distant future. But while this has been done only in jest, don’t be surprised if quite a few Covids and Coronas are born in a year’s time. India has already shown the way, no?

4. ONCE UPON A TIME

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Speaking of India, Ghana shares one of its most enduring myths with the South Asian country — the one featuring cricket scorelines, wild beasts, cooking pots and all, remember? — while the lines between fact and fiction are blurred even more when the older generation relates exaggerated tales of their heroic feats during the oft-referenced famine of 1983. Well, welcome the latest entry into that pantheon of myths, inspired by COVID-19. Ha, how good it would be when, many years later, I sit cross-legged and narrate to my poor kids — sat at my feet — stories of how I walked miles on the streets of Accra, braving heavy security presence, just to queue up for a bottle of sanitizer! At least, the part about paying GHC50 for one won’t be so huge a lie.

5. PARTY AFTER PARTY

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The longer this lockdown period extends, the more convinced most Ghanaian men will be about one of the Bible’s most universally accepted statements: “It is not good for the man to continue be alone,” Genesis 2:18 says.

Now, males are generally less enthused about settling down, but the need for female company — as heightened by the lockdown — could see more weddings (and, ahem, the parties that often celebrate them) planned and organized after COVID-19 finally eases/releases its grip. If we all don’t die by June, surely, we’d all be married by, say, December — or isn’t that the idea, dear editor?

Jo Ansah — Daily Mail GH

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